Do the Right thing?
So, not very proud of myself right now. Ironically, this fine moment came when I was listening to Ryan Holiday's interview about his new book ‘Right Thing, Right Now’ the third in his series of books on the Stoic virtues and my next book to read.
It’s about justice. Doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Not because someone is watching, or for any other reason but you are guided by your own conscience and your own values. I’m really looking forward to reading it (and maybe embodying it a bit a more!).
I was on my way back from the doctor after some more yucky skin cancer treatment. Armed with cream that will disgustingly blister my face for the next six weeks and prevent make up use (just what any 50 something woman wants to hear). I had clarified it in my head and accepted it was pretty much inevitable - as I have been a beach lover and surfer for most of my life and am very fair skinned.
I was driving back from the doctor, had my daughter in the back on her iPad, listening to the Ryan Holiday interview and weighing everything in my head and moving to that place of acceptance. I was driving at the speed limit, a little annoyed at a driver blocking the right lane (in Australia slower drivers are required to move over to the left and let other drivers take over on the right). I pulled up to a set of lights and moved over to the slip lane to the left, I then merged in front of the car in that lane (I was quite a bit in front) and moved over to the right in front of the slow driver. We all pulled up at the next set of lights and I hear a tiny beep and the old man in the car to my left very aggressively stuck his finger up. I was a bit perplexed as I don't feel like I cut him off – I was quite slow off the mark and I was probably 100m in front of him when I pulled in front but clearly, he felt otherwise. Instead of just taking it on the chin or going oh okay I've upset him and letting it process – I am ashamed to say I beeped back at him and then I gave him multiple single fingers and blew him a kiss. I think the kiss might have done it. He lost his shit completely.
Not my finest moment. He was old and cranky, and I probably should have just let it go. My base street fighter instincts are still there. Even after all this work and growth and learning. My first response is still to retaliate and then reflect. I am very grateful that reflection has joined the party, I just wish she would walk through the door before retaliation.
Lesson learnt. I think now is a good time to listen to the rest of the podcast and then read the book. Ironically (again) Ryan says that Justice is his hardest sell of the Stoic virtues. Courage, Temperance and Wisdom people get – but apparently if you tell people that giving back, that living by their values, that doing the right thing is the most important thing – they arch up and get defensive. Living to my values and purpose is one of my core beliefs, yet clearly not one I have mastered. Mirror, Mirror – at least you are clear. Onwards and upwards – reflection has taught yet another lesson.
