Inclusion - Changing Our Mindset
We organised a special treat for the end of the school year, 25 of us including 11 tweens, three pre-tweens and two teenagers (and Mums!) went to see the Mama Mia musical matinee in Melbourne.
We all live on the Mornington Peninsula so its an effort to get there and as the organiser I feel that sense of wanting to ensure everyone had a good time. Traffic was a nightmare and a couple missed the first ten minutes, but we managed to all get there and settled in to the enjoy the show. We have three rows of seats (in order to get that preferred middle section) and often the girls like to sit in one row and parents get to sit behind. As we were seating everyone, I noticed a group of adults with intellectual and physical disabilities and their carers were seated next to us. I noticed when the carers saw us, they moved seats so there was a carer between our children and theirs. I sat at the end next to one of the carers and didn’t think much more of it.
Until the show started and so did the party in the seats next to me. The carers were doing their best, but their group was yelling out, moving around, demanding to play in the backyard with Anita (we never met Anita) but it was loud and at times made it difficult to hear the show. Their group numbered about 30, so at times it was all encompassing. I was struggling to be fair. On one hand I had just done a podcast on disability inclusion with the amazing Irene Anderson and on the other hand, I had organised our group of 25 to be there (no mean feat). I had picked the seats. It was a special day for us, and I didn’t want it ruined. The kids were uncomfortable and trying to hear and Anita was not coming out to play.
One of my friends was sat directly behind them and I was really feeling awful for her. There was jumping up and down in front of her and lots of calling out and talking. (Never appreciated during live theatre), but my friend remained fixated on the stage, and I tried calming the kids down who weren’t sure how to react.
I was hyperalert to the noises and I could feel the mortified carer next to me tensing up. She was constantly saying “Shhh” as demands for Anita to come out and play grew louder and louder. Then mid dialogue one of the group yelled out “Yes Sam (one of the characters) Go Home”– he had perfect comedic timing and we all laughed very loudly and from then on something switched in my mindset, and I embraced the noise as part of the show.
At intermission, my friend who was the most impacted spoke to the mortified carers. They offered to swap because they felt they were impeding her enjoyment of the show. My beautiful friend said absolutely not, they were a part of the experience, and they were just reacting to the show in their own way. She said she was enjoying the whole experience and felt their joy. I looked at her in a new light. What a special lady. Instead of annoyance or irritation she felt only the joy and how special this experience was for the group. Mindset is everything right!
There was lots of dancing in the seats in the second part of the show and then on our feet at the end and the beautiful group of special souls danced away with us. Their energy and joy lit up and our group smiled and laughed with them They were infectious – my friend was absolutely right. They didn’t interrupt or impede our experience; they added layers to it. Thank you to the amazing carers for caring for us too.
When I changed my mindset, I found the joy that I thought was missing. Oh, the irony! As Carol Dweck says – you change your mindset and you change your life (paraphrased, but you get my point).Mindset is everything.
