Who’s afraid of heading out solo?
Julia Cameron in her wonderful book The Artist’s Way advocates strongly for a weekly Artist’s Date. The Artist being yourself. She believes that by spending quality time with ourselves we open our creativity channels and get to know ourselves better. She has a point.
I’ve been doing the artists’ dates for about three years now. Once a week I carve out a couple of hours for myself. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or dramatic. It can be a walk on the beach, a hike, yoga, meditation, browsing antique shops. The important thing is it is a date with yourself, so it doesn’t involve anyone else, and it’s something that you love.
For me, it is often a long walk on the beach, a surf, a kayak, sometimes its sitting on the rocks overlooking the water and contemplating life. It can also be wandering through the city people watching or visiting an art gallery and soaking it in. Often, it’s a theatre or musical performance. Going by myself to the theatre is a big step for me because I’m the Queen of organising big groups to the theatre or shows. I love sharing the magical experience of theatre so doing it by myself can feel selfish and odd.
Sometimes though, sometimes I want to go when I want to go, and I don’t want to compromise and sometimes – I am at the end of my tether and desperately need an extra special artist’s date. Last night was one of those nights. My gorgeous, wonderful, exuberant tween daughter and I just spent 3.5 weeks of mid-year holidays together. After two huge overseas trips last year, we decided not to head away this year and as my husband is in a career where he can’t work and take a tween with him – holiday care was left to me. I couldn’t take time off from work, so tried to work and entertain my tween. We had some successes with a three-day musical theatre workshop (and me working from the car) but by week three she was constantly bickering with me, and my fuse was shortening. I was almost calling for a padded cell on the weekend!
She went back to school yesterday and I took myself to the theatre last night, by myself, to see Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf. It was magnificent. Truly a brilliant performance. I packed my dinner in a thermos and sat quietly eating dinner in the intervals. I people watched and I embraced the performance without small talk or even interaction with others. I was an island and in my own zone. I did not speak for over three blissful hours. It was exactly what I needed and the wonderful podcast I listened to on the commute was the icing on the proverbial cake. I still discussed the production (at length) with my husband, but the experience was mine and sometimes, that’s just what we need.
I felt refreshed and reinvigorated. I’m a little tired this morning (even though it was an earlier performance) but I have lost that frazzled vibe and when my tween pushed a button this morning, I was able to find the pause and point out that she was the one who would now miss out. I took a sip of my camomile tea and thought a little more about Kat Stewarts’s wonderful performance last night and about her character Martha. That’s the thing I love about theatre – that exit from my sphere for the performance, the chance to see life through another person’s perspective, being immersed in another’s creative tide and being challenged to see other points of view. Theatre is a window to other ways of thinking, a way to challenge our values and beliefs, to see other lives and (hopefully) find empathy for others suffering and joy for their successes.
Even when I don’t like the production, I like it. I like that my limited sphere is cut open and I am granted a window into other spheres, other souls. Last night though, last night I absolutely loved the performance and today, I am a much more content version of me.
I highly recommend a weekly artist’s date. It’s fuel for the soul.
